Here it is folks! News of St. John’s annual ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – St. John style of course. Enjoy!
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through St. John,
Not a barstool was empty, people were gettin’ their drink on.
The koozies were hung by The Longboard with care,
In hopes that a Paloma soon would appear.
The locals were hangin’ at the new Bowery bar,
While Hollywood entertained tourists, and strummed his guitar.
I grabbed a pizza from Roma, then needed a nap,
But instead I went to Woody’s, for a lil’ night cap.
When out in the streets, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat, to see what was the matter.
Down to the ferry dock, I flew like a flash,
And I passed a few chickens, before hearing a splash.
The moon on the bay with the St. Thomas lights
Giving a luster of midday to something in flight.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
With a tanned little driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than mongoose, his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blixen!
To Coral Bay we must fly! We helped save the bay!
No megamarinas there, we’re keepin’ it that way!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So out toward the East, the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of swag, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the palm tree St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed in flip flops, Painkiller in hand,
And looked happy to’ve ditched the snow for the sand.
With a snorkel in tow and a cooler of beer,
He looked ready to spread some holiday cheer.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His skin was so tan, from his head to his toes,
He just looked so happy to be out of the snow!
He grabbed his trunks and downed another cold drink,
Took a dip in the pool and gave me a wink.
He had a broad face and a cute little belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
We took a quick selfie and he hopped out of the pool,
Who would have thought that this guy was so cool!
The fun had to end, time to get back to work,
So he filled the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the palm tree he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he flew toward the Bight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”