5 Step Program for St. John Addicts

st john addicts image

Our friend Carol Rocco sent us an entertaining list last week, one which may be all too familiar to several of you. It’s about this fantastic little slice of heaven we all love and how you can best deal with your “St. John obsession.” We enjoyed it so much, we thought we share it with all of you.

Side note: Carol works on behalf of Catered To vacation rentals. She also wrote a fantastic blog while she was living on island. We shared some excerpts with all of you last year. For those of you who missed it, please click here, here and here to read all three posts. It’s a great read, but be forewarned – it may further your St. John obsession. 🙂

5 Step Program for St. John Addicts – By Carol Rocco 

First things first — If you are afflicted by an addiction to St. John, it’s not your fault. There’s something in the Bushwackers and we all know it.

The onset can be sudden and occur without warning, causing excessive daydreaming and lack of productivity.

You might be a St. John Addict if you suffer from the following symptoms:

  • You have a countdown calendar tracking how many “sleeps” until you get back on island.
  • Your computer screen, cell phone wallpaper and Facebook cover are photos of St. John.
  • Your home and/or vehicle is decorated with shells, bumper stickers and St. John collectibles.
  • Cruz Bay Seasoning is a staple in your diet.
  • You have a full set of To-Go cups that say EAT. DRINK. RELAX.
  • You’ve mastered the art of making Painkillers, fresh nutmeg and all.
  • You occasionally drive on the left.
  • You would rather spend the holidays snorkeling Maho than with family.
  • You have reconsidered bacon after meeting Ziggy the Piggy.
  • You’ve inadvertently walked out of an establishment with a drink in your hand.
  • You spend more time obsessing about events, news and weather in St. John than where you live.
  • You dread the walk of shame (tearfully dragging your suitcase down the ferry dock on your last day). 

If stricken, you must take steps toward recovery or risk your losing your job due to a severe inability to concentrate; or in extreme cases, you could be inspired to quit your job and relocate.

Step 1: The first step in recovery is admitting your addiction.

Step 2: Find a support group. You are not alone. More than 1,300 addicts have joined St. John Peeps, a Facebook group for “St. John lovin’ peeps who dream about their next trip to the island, planning their next trip to the island or living their dream on the island.” Another 1,600 share their obsession in a group called Live from St. John.

Step 3: Get your daily island fix. Some of our favorite sources are News of St. John, On-St. John, St. John Spice webcam, and the view high atop Bordeaux Mountain from our own Esprit Villa.

Step 4: Temporary measures that have been known to relieve symptoms include wearing your Skinny Legs tshirt and Beach Bar hat while sipping on Cruzan rum from a Joe’s Rum Hut shot glass.

Step 5: For immediate relief, call the hotline at 800-424-6641 and let one of our Catered To professionals book your next vacation. Note from Jenn: Yes, this is Carol plugging Catered To. 

If you have been to St. John, you will be back. If you haven’t been but are planning a trip, consider yourself forewarned.

Carol Rocco and her husband David

4 thoughts on “5 Step Program for St. John Addicts”

  1. Great article! I am a St. John addict. This has helped me realize I’m not alone 😉 I had to laugh when most of the “symptoms” applied. I am happy to say I’ll be be back on the rock THIS WEEK- can’t wait till Saturday! I am very sad to know Ziggy will not be there for my morning walk on the beach in Cruz Bay. I’m really going to miss him not being a part of my paradise. See you in 3 more sleeps!

  2. Hi, My name is John and I am a StJohnAholic…reminds me of an old song…

    If there’s a cure for this
    I don’t want it
    If there’s a remedy
    I’ll run from it…

  3. I’m proud to be a StJohnaholic! Got the calendar days crossed off, my cell phone wallpaper is of Frank Bay, my car’s bumpers are covered in decals and my license is ILUVSTJ! Driving on the left feels more natural to me than on the right, my bedroom is all things St.John and I crave the taste of StJ Spice Grill Rub. I’m definitely addicted and I wouldn’t have it any other way! LOL!

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